And no, I didn't watch the red carpet festivities. What, do you think I'm insane?
8:00 The Police! It's high school all over again. Those high notes in "Roxanne" not really doable in your mid-50s are they, Sting? Seriously, it's going to be hard to top that for an "event."
8:05 Jamie Foxx: was he this big a tool before winning his Oscar?
8:06 Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder beat out Mary J/U2 for a Grammy (Pop Vocal Collaboration). I'm a bit surprised, but "go with the old guy" is a good Grammy rule of thumb.
8:14 The Dixie Chicks, "brave"? I like them and all, but a bit of a stretch. Natalie's new look--my tentative opinion is thumbs up.
8:18 If it's Sunday night on CBS, it must be Prince.
8:19 As we look in on Beyonce's Oscar rehearsal...that was less exciting than she thinks it was.
8:23 Blige wins for Best R&B Album. Now, can we be so lucky for that to be the one and only Black Eyed Peas sighting of the evening?
8:27 I'm not sure, but I think Mary J. mentioned my name somewhere in there.
8:36 Justin Timberlake is seated behind a piano rather than putting on a music video-like show. Message: I'm an artiste now. Respect. NostrilCam was kind of cool.
8:39 Pink and T.I. are talking about the Doors as lifetime achievement winners. That's pretty psychedelic. Let's see, best female R&B vocal; this must be where Justin Timberlake fits in...no, it's Mary J. again.
8:47 I remember back when they couldn't do a Grammys without Stevie Wonder winning 5 awards. Now, he's Billy Crystal, apparently...OK, John Legend, Corinne Bailey Rae, and John Mayer have what in common? Young artists who are "serious", I guess, although Mayer's current girlfriend makes me wonder just how serious he is.
8:53 This is easy to respect, but thrilling it isn't. This is an awfully long downtempo segment for early in the show, especially when you consider that almost no one watching has any idea who Corinne Bailey Rae and John Legend are.
9:05 I wonder what Shakira really thinks of this silly little song.
9:11 Dixie Chicks win Song of the Year for "Not Ready to Make Nice." The Grammys hate America.
9:20 Gnarls: come fly with them.
9:25 Noted thespian Ludacris crosses over to win Best Rap Album. Is anybody really happy about that?
9:37 Crazy Mary. She adds a little something to all her awards show performances; tonight a bit of the classic "Stay With Me".
9:43 The Dixie Chicks, ungracious winners. I loved it.
9:51 Rascal Flatts doing "Hotel California." And people think the Dixie Chicks are offensive?
10:00 Carrie Underwood was pretty good, though...wow! Ornette Coleman on network television. The guy wasn't a lifetime achievement honoree until he was nearly 80? What took them so long?
10:05 Carrie had to win Best New Artist. Credit where it's due--she's really improved as a performer.
10:09: Smokey Robinson classes up everything he's a part of...I guess the idea of this interlude is to suggest Chris Brown is some sort of successor to Smokey and Lionel Richie, and not the guy who gets the songs Usher turned down.
10:18 Christina gets the James Brown tribute. Inspired choice, though he deserves twice the time the friggin' Eagles got.
10:29 The Parade of the Dead. This is sort of where I wanted to see Rascal Flatts.
10:43 James Blunt on now--from Ludacris to Ludacriser.
10:56 The Timberlake award winner isn't half bad, although she can't really hang with Justin and T.I.
10:58 Tony Bennett and Quentin Tarantino--naturally. Record of the Year goes to (be Gnarls be Gnarls be Gnarls) the Dixie Chicks. Pretty obviously their night.
11:10 John Frusciante needs to be in a better band.
11:13 Al Gore and Queen Latifah: now THIS is random. The Chili Peppers win Best Rock Album, one of the night's true locks.
11:24 Scarlett Johansson is recording an album?...that was an awkward little moment there with Don Henley, anyway, Album of the Year went to the Dixie Chicks, as we all sort of guessed by this point that it would. Does this mean we'll never hear from them again a la Lauryn Hill?
11:28 I don't think we're going to remember much about this one, except as the year the Chicks won everything.
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